the fight at hand

I've reached a point in our year here where the initial excitement has worn off a bit, and life has really just become pretty much routine. I mean, I don't know if it's ever entirely routine when you're living in an unfamiliar culture, especially when it's so different from your home culture as it is here. But my daily life definitely has a routine pattern: get up; go to class; eat; prepare for the next day's class; eat some more; sleep; rinse and repeat.

The worst part is, the initial excitement about studying as hard as possible, practicing all the time, and really improving my Chinese over the course of the year has kind of worn off. Some days, I walk away from class feeling like I really have a handle on things, like I'm learning so much, like my comprehension level is continually improving. Then, that same afternoon, I'll try to talk to someone on the street, or to the lady in the internet service office, and I'll have absolutely no idea what that person is trying to communicate to me. I've run into enough of this kind of disappointing language situation that my spirits have begun to drag a little bit. That's not to say I'm totally bummed out here, or anything. It's just that I'm not quite so idealistic about what can be accomplished, in terms of language acquisition, in a year as I was when we first arrived. I'm really seeing how long it will take for me to really "know Chinese," whatever that means.

So, I'm kind of fighting to get excited about studying right now. I know studying is good for me. What's more, I know that if I don't study, it will be very bad for me, because things move along so quickly here that it doesn't take long to fall completely behind. But nevertheless, I find it much more inviting to think about snuggling up on the sofa with a good book, than to consider the prospect of doing homework and studying and getting up early tomorrow morning.

This rebellious feeling started about a week ago, and it's been simmering under the surface ever since. I'm fighting to keep it down, but sleeping in tomorrow morning is sounding so, so tempting.