bitter medicine

I don't think I even realized how long it had been since I last posted here until I got a little message from my mom-in-law (Hi, Nancy!) saying she missed my blog. I haven't been avoiding it on purpose. I think I've just been a little distracted lately, studying diligently for my class, and working my way through some issues in my head. Sometimes when you're in the midst of churning through such things, it's a little hard to write about them, or the other things going on around you.

I've definitely had some highs and lows over the past several weeks. It was a great achievement to test so well and get into a higher level class. I started the semester elated over that news. But I soon discovered that actually being in a class that is three levels higher than the class I started in last semester can be a really stressful, difficult, and time-consuming enterprise. I started the semester at the bottom of the class, and have been clamoring to move up ever since.

I am (I reluctantly admit) not very good at not being the best student in the class. I like being the one who gets it. I enjoy excelling. And unfortunately, in the past, when I haven't excelled at one thing or another, my impulse has been to cry, and then to quit. The truth is, I simply don't excel in this class, and I have spent a few afternoons crying over it. But I've also been working really hard at not allowing myself to quit. All of this is to say that the semester so far has been a big lesson in humility, and commitment, and personal improvement in general, and those kinds of lessons are like drinking Chinese medicine--they may be good for you in the long run, but they sure are bitter going down. And you have to take a lot of doses before it really starts to work.

That being said, I'm working on not allowing this class (and my position in it) to take up such a prominent place in my thoughts. That's good, because there are a lot of other things to appreciate around here, all of which have nothing to do with studying Chinese, or excelling at it. Like the beautiful warm weather (mid-70's!) we've had over the past two weeks. Or the fact that the entire city is full of blossoming trees right now, all of them spilling their little pink petals like snowflakes over the city streets. Or the cool, new cafe Ben and I have been frequenting, which is only a few blocks away from our home. Or the fact that the streets are beginning to fill up with people in the evenings again, thanks to the rise in temperature, and having people on the streets makes every day feel like a party, even when there's no occasion for it. There's a lot to enjoy around here. I'll try to keep you in the loop.



(Also: sorry there are no photos. My camera broke shortly after we returned from our big trip, and I haven't had it fixed, or bought a new one yet. Working on that . . . . )